Thanks to those that continue to read my ramblings. It was nice to hear from so many of you that could relate to the 'scattered' feeling. I always find a little humor in the fact that so many think I have the 'perfect' job. The comments such as, "It must be so nice to work whenever you want!" or "How great you're able to be with your kids 24-7!" all bring my a silent chuckle. The truth is while I love what I do, there have been moments I've questioned the sacrifices that I've had to make to make it all work. I'm sure many of you have had times in your life when you've questioned yourself the same - whether related to a job, move, or even family. Working at home is nice but at the same time, I miss closing my classroom door at the end of a long day. When I was a teacher, I'd walk about before 4PM and when I got home, I was home. I had a start and finish to my day. At home, I always have my to-do list staring me in the face, teasing me - "look how behind you are" or "haha! you forgot to _____". It all blurs together, no start time or end time. Then insert two children wanting and needing my attention. I usually end up spending my time handling their needs and then working very late into the night. My situation would be easier if I had a mom or any family for that matter. The few relatives we have are hours (some days) away so that leaves no 'grandma's house' for my two. I have thought of getting a 'nanny' to come in a few days a week for a few hours each day, but honestly can't bring myself to have help. I'm so used to doing everything myself, I just do.
The point is 'scattering' or that feeling of loss of control happens to all of us. Even moms that may have what seems like the 'perfect' job. ;) And usually, even if I look in control on the outside, some part of me is scattering inside. But like one of my fans wrote and told me, just "take life enjoy it for what it is." We tend to compare our lives to others or desire a 'perfect' balance that isn't realistic. And sometimes, trying to reach that 'perfect' balance is actually what is causing the crazy in our life.
Instead of taking control of life, let life take you through the rough rapids and when things are smooth sailing again, choose 1. use any extra energy to paddle quickly and catch up now that the waters are easier to paddle or 2. use your time to sit back, relax and enjoy the calm knowing that at anytime you may be riding the rapids again. So far I'm rambling about how life compares to beads and rafting LOL but really what I am trying to say is that crazy is normal and normal is crazy. Got it? ;) I'm going to enjoy the moments while recognizing my priorities and it is as simply crazy simple as that. :)
On a lighter note, we bought underwear today! It is funny how with Megan I call them 'undies' but for Evan they are 'underwear'. He went and picked out Diego underwear and a new potty seat with Elmo and Friends. He was so excited when we got home and put his them on right away. He ripped off the plastic cover on his toilet seat and looked like he was ready to go... but as soon as I asked him if he wanted to sit on his new seat, he screamed "Noooooooooooo..." He wore his undies until he got them wet (even though he did stop himself) and then asked for his diaper. Well, poo - I was just hoping my 'magic potty talk' would make him potty trained first time out. I figured for now, we'll just go with the flow (pun!) and see if he gains more interest. If not, I may just need to spend a few days at home 'diaper free' and see if he catches on. Our biggest obstacle right now is the fact that he simply does not want to sit on the toilet. We've tried both a small, portable potty and a potty seat. Megan is so helpful and really wanting to help Evan be a 'big boy', so maybe she'll tempt him to get up on the porcelain throne soon or later. ;)
Hope everyone is having a great weekend!
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